Why Don't You Take A Chill Pill?
This is a reprint of an essay belonging to the “Empty Password Chronicles.”
Huge thanks to the original author.
When travelling abroad some situations might reveal that certain customs and rules of etiquette are completely different from the ones we are used to practice at home. The director at the Emily Post, Cindy Post Senning, says that it is best to learn these differences before your departure, to avoid embarrassing moments of misunderstanding. However true that may be, what happens if you don’t and you succeed to miserably fail with everything that could possibly go wrong? Although you might think it would provoke a catastrophe ruining the foundation of future relations, I claim this to be an exaggeration and a false statement. In essence, such behaviour does not necessarily solely lead to negative consequences. Apart from hurt feelings, the possibility of homicide, embarrassments, the possibility of suicide, starting of a third world war, mockery and prejudice, it can also lead to laughter, jokes that will never expire and even a great lesson both to you and the offended.
Firstly, in some places many people are raised having to eat every piece of food on their plate, even as the courses continue with to feed the completely already full stomachs. However, in some countries as in China for instance, cleaning your plate means you weren't given enough food. Therefore, the food will pour continuously until you will not manage to wipe it clean. Nevertheless, several inquire of food signal that the host wasn't generous to his or her guest. Consequently, such attempt of politeness may receive a far more grave reaction than expected. And when the evening ends, the host’s warmth may easily disappear when he gives the visitor a cold goodbye. In such situations there are only two ways to react. Either the visitor does not realize the reason of the host’s behavior and gets offended as well, or he sees what he has done wrong, acknowledges it and with a genuine apology leaves it at that.
In addition, sitting at a foreign dinner table can seem intimidating with all its surrounding guests and odd-looking dishes. On top of this, you must not loose your face saying the wrong thing during the conversations, especially if the company’s faith in surviving relies on you. Thus, it is more than comprehensible that you may feel nervous and forget the smallest of things at the dinner table. As is the Chinese cook's custom it is common for the cook to insult her or his own cooking. Even though the dishes are served with special pride, the cook claims it to be poorly salted or without any flavor. That statement is supposed to be your cue to try it out and proclaim that it is the best she or he had ever made. Without knowing this, it is easy to misapprehend the intention and do something that would offend the cook (probably on a very personal level as well), and make a fool of yourself. Besides, this scenario may just be as much embarrassing to the ones around the table (including the cook), as is it for you. Since this manner gives the signals of search for appreciation and attention. Therefore, out of discomfiture, they might not explain the reason of them being upset, and even hide it from you with a smile. Later, after leaving the dinner, the others will talk about it behind your back and even obtain prejudice about people like you. In essence, people coming from the same country as you are, to be just as ignorant or insensitive as you are (or appear to be).
Lastly, there are times when quarrels and confusion actually don’t occur due to your behavior, but to someone else’s, and of course to your reaction to it. Let us say for instance, you are taking a stroll in the streets in Mexico. Suddenly both men and women are starting to flirt with you, wink and whistle as you go by. Incidentally, this way of behaving is quite common in South-and Central American Countries, and is most of the time merely meant as an innocent greeting amongst people. Yet walking down the streets unknown of this fact, you may feel insulted and disrespected, thinking of those men as complete “schmucks”. Seeing the response from you, all tense and awkward, can bring out the most unexpected giggles from the spectators, thinking, “silly little girl, what was she thinking in that perverted mind of hers”? Finally, you can’t take it anymore, walk over to them and ask what the matter is? Once you've figured it out, you start to laugh yourself and introduce yourself to them, creating new friendships that may last a lifetime.
In conclusion, yes, there are many uncomfortable situations that without difficulty can come to pass because of the common lack of knowledge when it comes to how to behave amongst people from different cultures. But since they are so common, why aren't we used to them yet? In my opinion it is quite funny of how much people expect other people to know about their cultures and traditions, while they aren't willing to teach them about it. For me it seems ridiculous having adults sulk like little children over unconscious insults, when taking into consideration how easy it really is to just laugh about it, given that it truly is amusing to see how simple it is to miscomprehend one another. Hence, why don’t we all just “take a chill pill” and stop taking ourselves so seriously allowing ourselves to laugh at our natural wit.
References:
1. Pendelton, D. Travel Etiquette In The World's Most Visited Countries. July 2008. Retrieved January 24, 2012, from: http://www.forbes.com/2008/07/31/international-travel-etiquette-forbeslife-cx_dp_0731travel.html
2. Balderrama, A. Business Etiquette Around the World. October 2008. Retrieved January 24, 2012, from: http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-1650-Job-Info-and-Trends-Business-Etiquette-Around-the-World/
3. Tan, A. The Joy Luck Club. London: Vintage, 1991
4. Powell, M. Världens Etikett: resenärens guide till gott uppförande. Copenhagen: Ordalaget Bokförlag, 2007.